I stopped by the Embassy Health clinic today and talked to the physician’s assistant. She said that the cramps I’m having (every day off and on all day) are probably just my uterus starting to enlarge and it is common/normal to have the cramping.

Has anyone else experienced this?

We also made arrangements for me to come in early next week (mon or tues) for my first beta.

I don’t feel pregnant, except for the cramping I really don’t have any symptoms. My breast are less sore than when I first started the progesterone, though my nipples are still very sensitive.

But that’s it.

I pee a lot, but I do that anyway.

Needless to say I’m nervous, I think I will have to test again tomorrow morning.

I guess I forgot to blog it, but I did a HPT two or three days after retrieval to see if the trigger shot was still in my system (I had read about others doing this and thought it was a good idea) and I only had the v.v. faintest of lines at that point (the kind you have to squint to see). So I’m sure it’s not a trigger.

I’m so nervous though, afraid to get all excited but I am.. excited.

I got all teary eyed reading your warm wishes. Thank you all.

At 11 days past fertilization (well.. a few hours short of 11 days anyway) this is what we have.

Photo taken 4 minutes after start of test.

 
   You don't even have to squint!  (it looks a little darker in person)

What do you think? I’m afraid to believe it’s true. I was so very scared to test this morning but my husband was so excited that I couldn’t refuse him. I even managed to not pee all night long so I’d be sure to have that good hormone enriched first mornings pee! Hehe..

Ok.. I’m going to go worry for a few days until I can test again.

I have been remiss in my posting, sorry about that.

I’m feeling pretty good, I have had :

cramps

just a tinge of nausea

two brief dizzy spells

very sore breast

All of which could be due to pregnancy.... or the meds I’m on.

Tomorrow will be 9 days after a 2 day transfer and I believe my husband is getting more antsy than me.

I have two early detection PG tests that I brought from the states and Poke wants me to test tomorrow morning. I’m really scared of getting that single line but I’ll probably give in and test.

It will still be early enough that if it is a single line, I’ll convince myself I could still be pregnant and it’s just not showing up yet.

We actually had a very lovely Christmas Eve and Christmas day. We enjoyed lots of fun and food with friends that we are going to miss terribly when we move.

Poke has been showing more interest in all things ‘baby’ and ‘pregnancy’ than I have ever seen him show. He actually spent a whole 3 or 4 minutes flipping through a baby name book I handed him yesterday. Believe me, that is an accomplishment.

Don’t get to excited though, all that sort of thing will still be up to me. I have to do all of the research and then submit my findings for approval. Hehe.

I think he will actually be pretty disappointed if I’m not knocked up.

5 days past 2 day transfer.

I’m cramping a lot today, they feel like menstrual cramps and I’m worried.

It started when I woke up this morning with my bladder full and extremely painful.

After I went to the bathroom my bladder still hurt for a long time and I lay in bed worrying that maybe I had an infection, or maybe they punctured my bladder during the retrieval.

When I woke up next my bladder didn’t ache like it was, but it remained a little tender.

The next time I went to tinkle I had that deep sort of vaginal cramp I sometimes get when my period is due. Since then every time I have gone, I analyze myself, yes it still hurts/cramps a bit but not as bad as the first time. Yes I’m very worried.

Well I have to run, I have a Christmas party I have to go pretend to enjoy.

I feel pretty good today.

Because we don’t have kids or anything, it’s easy for us to cheat. So we did.

We opened our Christmas presents last night.

It’s not like it was a big deal or anything, there were only three of them anyway!

I gave Poke an IPOD Mini, I think he was happy enough.

He gave me a camcorder! Woohoo.

We have looked at them for a couple of years and just haven’t ever picked one up.

I can see myself using it a lot in this coming year, and NOT just for the porns he wants me to make and send him in Iraq! LOL.

Now I can video tape my niece and friends baby showers for them, I can send Poke clips of how the family is doing, how everyone is growing up.

And.....

And if I am pregnant. (Deep breath) Then I will be able to video tape my pregnancy and the first few months of our baby(ies) lives so that Poke won’t feel like he missed out on the whole thing.

I really hope that is what I get to use it for!

Mery Christmas every one!

IVF was much harder than I had imagined. Much.

Even after reading about so many other brave women who have done IVF, it was still more than I had bargained for.

The hormones that threw me from hope to worry, from joy to tears.

The 30+ injections that left my stomach and hips bruised and sore.

The twice daily doctors appointments and the feeling that I was doing it all alone because my husband is working so much overtime.

And of course, the retrieval.

I had been frightened of retrieval for months before the IVF because I couldn’t find anyone else who had been through this without being put under. But then the clinic had assured me that though I wouldn’t be out, I would be given ‘something’ to make it easier. And I had believed them.

Bull Shit.

The thought of going through retrieval again is terrifying to me, it was by far the worst physical experience of my life. Sound a little melodramatic?

It’s the truth.

You see why I have so much ridding on this IVF then? I don’t want to have to go though that again. God... please let me get pregnant this time.

Please.

Would I do it again.

Yes. If I have to, but hell I don’t want to.

I want a baby to hold in my arms, a little piece of life that has Poke’s eyes and my since of humor.

Selfish of me?

Yes. But by god I’ve earned it.

I’ll finish by saying that I have so much respect and awe for all of you who have gone through IVF. I take my hat off to you.

~Sanorah

Transfer was easy enough.

Two little spelunkers were set free inside the dark moist confines of my uterine cave. I really really hope they decide they like it in there and want to stay 9 months or so. The cave uterine walls were a splendid 15mm thick and plush for the attaching.

Spe managed to divide into three cells with less than 10 percent fracturing.

 [photo removed for space]      (Spe is SO photogenic dont' you tihnk?) 

Lunk only managed two, but we still have hope for the little guy, lunk also has less than 10% fracturing.

 [Photo removed for space] (lunk looks a bit grumpy, but i suppose i would too if i had just split in half!) 

The hardest part about transfer today was the part where while I was laying in the recovery room, someone was breaking out the window of my car and taking off with my stereo. I’m sure that a replacement window for our Isuzu Trooper will be quite the pain to come up with, as ours seems to be the only trooper in the entire country of Bulgaria. And of course we had a lovely snow today which makes driving without the passenger side window lots and lots of fun.

I’m full of mixed emotions today. I’m overjoyed to have Spe and Lunk nestled safely inside but I’m so afraid of the crash if they don’t decide to stay.

I’m not scheduled to go in for a beta until January 7^th. That is essentially three weeks! There is NO way I can wait that long, so I’m sure I will be breaking out the HPTs sometime around Christmas.

I thought I was through with the injections but was blessed with not one, but two ass pokes today and another three to be taken over the next two weeks. I am also in possession of a plethora of pills I have to try and remember to take every day. I won’t go into what they all are right now, I’m much to tired to look everything up and translate the Bulgarian packaging right now.

I plan to emulate my cat for the next week or so and do as little as possible. I appreciate all of your warm wishes more than you can know.

~Sanorah

Of the three eggs, two fertilized. Yay.

The doctor thinks they will survive and we are to have our transfer tomorrow morning at 9am.

At least now I don’t have to fret about how many embryos to transfer. I hope the little spelunkers are strong and decide they like my uterus a lot!

Doctor Voyeur said that my lining was perfect. 

I feel pretty decent today, my stomach is sore of course, but yesterday it was painful to walk, today I’m getting around just fine. I was still leaking red blood when I went to bed last night, but today I only have a tiny bit of brown spotting.

I’m very excited about tomorrow.. wish us luck!