http://tone26.blogspot.com/

Toni is my Stimming Hero, over 30 eggs and only mild OHSS!

Her transfer is today, I can’t wait to hear how it went.

I leaned forward during my ultrasound to get a look at the screen and what I saw scared the crap out of me. On the screen I could only see TWO follicles. When I asked if that was right he moved the wand around to show me a third which was a lot smaller, that was my right ovary.

On the left we could only see two period, one large and one small. He is saying at this point that I will hopefully  have 5 mature.

5

I had a difficult time not crying in his office.

I asked if it was possible for more to show up and catch up. He said not likely.

He said the IDEAL number in his opinion was eight which would usually result in 2-4 to transfer and 2-4 to freeze. That my 5 wasn't that far off and he didn't want me hyperstimulated since i have to travel so soon after transfer.     I thought that number sounded very low too, but it sounds better than FIVE.

Geez.. So say we retrieve 5, but only 4 fertalize, egads! Do I put two in and keep two on ice? What if they all suck quality wise? God I’m going to freak. There are so few, what if i get nothing!

My E2 was 124.33 yesterday morning which he said is about right for 5 follicles.

LH = 4.06

He upped my meds tonight and tomorrow morning to 150 IU Puregon.

He will have a better idea how they are advancing after tomorrow’s ultrasound.

We will be doing blood work and ultrasound every day now. He thinks retrieval will be around Friday.

God.. please please please let me get a few nice embryos out of this!

My husband will be home from his trip this evening, I can’t wait, I really need someone to cry on.

 

I had the oddest dream a few nights ago.

I was pregnant, but my pregnant belly fell off!

I picked it up and it was a perfect pregnant belly pooch on one side and flat on the other, the flat side was very thin and I could see the baby moving inside.

It seemed to me that the baby was in distress so I ripped open the thin skin of the flat side and took the baby out, trying to help it breath/live?

For some reason the baby could only stay outside of the belly pouch for a little while so I would periodically put it back inside, then become worried about it and pull it out again. Freaky.

Owie

The injections didn’t go so hot this morning.

Starting today I’m to have 100 IU of Puregon AM & PM in addition to my PM Decapeptyl. The problem is that the Puregon comes in 50 IU doses. Each 50 IU dose has more liquid than the Decapeptyl and each fills it’s own little syringe.

So that means FIVE shots a day instead of THREE as I first thought.

You may ask why I don’t get a bigger syringe? Well I thought of that..

This morning I prepared everything and knew right away that I would just have to get bigger syringes from the health unit. At least that is what I thought until I started injecting the stinging hot magma under the tender skin of my tummy.

Frigging Meow!

I managed to get the first syringe full into the same bulging bubble (I know there was a bit of teeth clinching involved).

This bulging white bubble bled quite a bit afterwards. Is that normal?? It doesn’t seem normal.

For the second syringe of fire I decided to ice my tummy first. Did this help you ask?

Hum..Hard to say.  I felt the needle even less, but the ice didn’t seem to quench the sting much at all.

I guess I was unconsciously pulling back because of the burning and ended up pulling my needle almost free of the tiny bubble it was producing and a few drops of liquid cash dripped down into my pubes. Oops.. Now the bubble just seemed to full and I was forced to relocate.

So now... I have three slightly bloody bubbles in my poor tummy chub and I still have that same shot plus one more to do tonight, not to mention tomorrow, and the day after.. and the day after that.

I can see this is going to be a long fucking week.

As for the larger syringe idea,  I don’t think the full 100 IU would fit in one skin bubble anyway so I think I have to stick to two smaller bubbles.

Anyone know how shallow/deep these shots are supposed to go? For one shot I could actually see the full length of the needle through my skin (which is very very white and a bit translucent on my stomach anyway). Is that too shallow??

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I have another problem as well.

I’m getting my hopes up.

I can’t help it and it’s scaring the shit out of me!

I have no reason to believe I will have any problem getting pregnant. (Remember our problem seems to be really bad sperm)

So I can’t help but feel this is going to work..

These are very dangerous thoughts because I will find out one way or another if I’m pregnant just two weeks before my husband leaves for Iraq for a year. I really don’t want to go to pieces or anything. God.. I better get knocked up.

Realistically I know there are two many variables, to many things that can go wrong.

First I have to respond well to the drugs (but not too well), then we have to actually get some eggs, then fertilization has to work, then the little buggers have to stay alive long enough to get transferred back where they belong. Then they have to latch on and stay latched and of course be healthy etc.. Gah.. I’ll drive myself nuts thinking about it.

It wasn’t so bad, I was clumsy and my needles are a little short for drawing the meds up but all in all no sweat.

The needle didn’t hurt at all going into my stomach but the medication burns like a sonofabitch!

 

I’ll do my second tonight then starting Friday it’s 3 a day. Oh goodie.

Well, that bitchy aunt must have missed her flight or something because she didn’t show up at all yesterday.  I had to call the doctor at 6pm and let him know she was a no show… thus putting off the first injection.

 

Thankfully a later flight was available and she showed up first thing this morning.

 

I’ll call the doctor again today and let him know and plan on doing the first shot this evening.  With the schedule we had worked up that had included a prompt Aunt Flow I was supposed to go into the doctor’s office on Saturday morning for blood work and then back on Saturday afternoon for ultrasound and additional drugs.

Her lateness shifts things to Sunday, I’m pretty certain they can’t get the blood work done on a Sunday but I can’t wait until Monday because I wouldn’t have enough medication for my Sunday evening shot.  Hum.. we’ll have to see what the Doc says.

--

 

Another thought,

 

Am I the only 33 year old who regularly looks in the mirror and mushes her stomach chub around to try and see what she will look like when she is pregnant?  Am I the only one who does this?  Oh… I am?

(blush). 

 

Anyway, I remember doing something of this sort when I was a teen or maybe even a preteen, but it seems since I’ve started seeing the RE (and maybe have a shot at actually getting pregnant) I’ve started doing this again.   It’s like I can’t resist.

 

I’m a bit of a free spirit and I always sleep in the nude. (I can’t stand pj’s wrapping around me while I toss and turn in bed)  Every night as I crawl into bed I catch site of myself in the mirror (shiver) and I find myself doing the tummy thing. 

 

I think I need therapy! Hehe..

 

 

 

 

 

I brought home my meds yesterday and assuming I start my period today, I will take my first shot tonight.

 

Because this is a first (IVF) for me and it will help keep things straight I want to keep track of everything here.

 

CD 1, December 7^th , Tuesday (pending period)

-         PM sub-q injection of Decapeptyl 0.1 (similar to Lupron, it suppresses the production of LH)

 

CD 2

-         PM sub-q injection of Decapeptyl 0.1

 

CD 3

-         AM sub-q injection of Puregon 100 IU (FSH – Follicle Stimulating Hormone)

-         PM sub-q injection of Puregon 100 IU

-         PM sub-q injection of Decapeptyl 0.1

 

CD 4

-         Same as CD3

 

CD 5  (Saturday)

-         AM sub-q injection of Puregon 100 IU

-         AM see Dr. for Blood work

-         PM see Dr. for ultrasound and further information on drugs.

 

I should have named Dr. Voyeur, Dr. Nervous because more and more that is how I see him.  Not that I don’t think he will be steady enough while he is handling my ovaries and their products, but I’ve finally come to a realization of WHY he comes off as so nervous so often.  In truth he is doing it ALL for me and that's not really his job

.

With most of his patients the nurses take care of the goings-ons but because he doesn’t have a nurse who is competent in English he finds himself having to do it all himself.  I felt that lack in this yesterday when he went over the injections with me.

 

Dr. Voyeur went over the protocol clearly enough, but when it came to how I give the injections, his explanation was less than a minute.  “blank stare”.

Um… I’ve never, ever, EVER given an injection of any kind.

 

Thank goodness I knew I had somewhere else to turn.

 

Yesterday afternoon I went by the Embassy clinic and spent 30 minutes with the Physicians Assistant.  She thoroughly explained how the injections should be mixed and administered.  She provided me with needles of two sizes and alchohol whipes which my RE did not.

She also volunteered to assist me if I should need it. Well, she could assist me any night except tonight of course. (she is busy) And tonight is the FIRST injection, the one I feel I need a bit of assistance with.

 

I think I will call the other nurse from the embassy clinic. We are pretty good friends and I don’t think she would mind supervising while I poke myself in the tummy the first time.

 

I don’t know how anyone else felt when they started their first IVF, but I was so excited/nervous/hopped-up that when I left the clinic yesterday, meds in hand, I was shaking.   That was weird.

 

This week is insanely busy at work (Secretary of State Visit yesterday/today/tomorrow) and my husband being the head of the technical security has been v. v. busy with this.  He did manage to take time out yesterday to go to my appointment with me, and I was very glad.  It really helps to have someone else to try and keep the instructions straight, damn my two-second memory!

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My beginning stats:

 

E2 41.6 pg/ml

Endometrium 4-5

FSH 2.92 mIU/ml

LH  2.15 mIU/ml

--

 

Never have I been SO ready for my period to start!

 

I’ve been home two days now, why haven’t I posted? I don’t know..

I’m tired.

I haven’t been feeling well.

Maybe still a little depressed.

Did I mention I’m tired?

This is supposed to be my last week at work and I think it is going to be a bitch. We are having a Secretary of State visit and everyone is working overtime. Work called me twice today, the second time they asked me if I wanted to work overtime.

I said no, but I know they won’t be put off that easily, they will ask again... and again.

I know these visits are tough on everyone but in my mind I’ve already quit work. I know..bad attitude but I have.

I saw my RE yesterday and he thinks everything looks good for the IVF. I have to go in for blood work Monday morning then back again after lunch to discuss my medications and schedule. Two appointments during working hours my first day back in the office. They are going to hate me this week, I can just tell.

I’m struggling with a bad attitude, I think I have a big hawnking chip on my shoulder and if they do anything to piss me off I’m likely to not be very nice about it. I’m such a wus though, I feel guilty for having this chip and I haven’t’ even gone off on anyone yet! Gah.. dorkdome.

Anyway, my IVF is first and foremost, work just better step lightly.

—

I arrived home just before 4pm on Friday, during the ride home my husband tells me he has planned a cookout at our house for about 12 people the next day at noon!

I cried.

I’m not kidding, I cried. How could he do that! He said it would be our last chance but damn I was so tired after 24 hours of travel that I was nearly cross-eyed.

The next day I went to my doctor appointment which was at 11, so of course I was late to our own cookout. Everyone was already there when I arrived home.

Poke was cooking but I quickly discovered his entire menu consisted of steak, ribs and potatos. I’m sorry but that just wasn’t cutting it!

I quickly put myself to work in the kitchen making some pasta and vegetables (and even made cookies for later).

Everyone hung around until about 5pm or so and I can’t say I was sorry to see them go. I was so tired after that my husbands penalty was to spend ‘special time’ cuddling until bedtime.

Poke had to work all day today and I’ve just sat around the house feeling pretty much like shit.

My misplaced luggage was supposed to be delivered this evening, but of course it hasn’t been. I cant’ even call them about it until after 9 tomorrow. "Sigh"

Anyway I’m home and my IVF is on. Wish me luck please.. this is the only chance I get for at least another year and a half. I really wana make a baby.

~Sanorah

I'm still very tired, but i'm enjoying the visit with my family.
I'm having a hard time remembering to take my birth control pills while i'm traveling, so they have been willy-nilly taken any time of the day i happen to remember them.  heh.. hope that doesn't cause any problems.

No luck finding a place to live yet.. the search continues.

Sorry I haven't called you H, been so busy, I doubt i will get to see you until i move home in January.

I miss my man!

I need sex!

see you girls later!

~Sanorah

Well I’m in Oklahoma and very tired.

I swear the more I fly, the less I like it.

Not sure how much time I will find to post (private time that is) but I’ll try to drop a note every once in a while.